tonight we had dinner of spaghetti and saw midgits fighting on tv, which naturally made me think that i need to post about pastafarianism. however, I'll settle for just adding the link and including this awesome vid of ass-kicking midgits. they truly are his chosen people...
ramen
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
camping
who knew it got so fucking cold a mere 6000 feet up from sunny sandy eggo? needless to say, mr buddy's excellent fire making skills were missed.
highlight of the trip, other than the hike through the meadow whilst being snowed upon?
s'mores made with not graham crackers, but pop-tarts. a sugary sweet strawberry flavored transcendental experience not easily forgotten...
highlight of the trip, other than the hike through the meadow whilst being snowed upon?
s'mores made with not graham crackers, but pop-tarts. a sugary sweet strawberry flavored transcendental experience not easily forgotten...
Thursday, May 22, 2008
new campaign promise request
now, I'm not usually one to let off fits of rage, leaving that to mr buddy, however, certain events this morning compel me to do so.
I've decided I will vote for whichever candidate promises to enact a no asshole law. (kudos to Robot Chicken for making this into a wonderful stop-motion animation reality).
If there was such a law, it would apply to the gay tool talking to the ugly starbux barista at great lengths about how every movie since Ben Hur has failed to live up to it's expectations, be as good as it's previous versions, be dark enough to practice exhibitionist oral sex, etc. as such, I would have perfectly within my right to take this asshole, drag him behind the counter, shove the latte steamer into the ftont of his trousers and steam his nuts like so many oysters at my second favorite tavern .
the barista i would let live. she's just doing her job. i blame starbux for their new policy on being nice to every customer. it unamerican is what it is. here's the deal: it sucks to serve people. i know, many of you probably know as well. you have to pretend to be nice while people treat you like crap and you get paid like crap for it. the only saving grace has always been the option to treat a tool like he deserves - like a tool. take that away, and what do you have left? spitting in my coffee when i'm not looking, that's what. I don't know about you, but I don't think the best part of waking up is the Special Edition Starbux Fair Trade Ugly Barista Spit Guatamalan Antigua bland in my cup...
nuff said. now ima gonna drink my coffee.
ps - going to see the new Indy flick tonight. will attempt to record the movie in 17 second clips on my cell phone and post them on my blog. please stay tuned.
I've decided I will vote for whichever candidate promises to enact a no asshole law. (kudos to Robot Chicken for making this into a wonderful stop-motion animation reality).
If there was such a law, it would apply to the gay tool talking to the ugly starbux barista at great lengths about how every movie since Ben Hur has failed to live up to it's expectations, be as good as it's previous versions, be dark enough to practice exhibitionist oral sex, etc. as such, I would have perfectly within my right to take this asshole, drag him behind the counter, shove the latte steamer into the ftont of his trousers and steam his nuts like so many oysters at my second favorite tavern .
the barista i would let live. she's just doing her job. i blame starbux for their new policy on being nice to every customer. it unamerican is what it is. here's the deal: it sucks to serve people. i know, many of you probably know as well. you have to pretend to be nice while people treat you like crap and you get paid like crap for it. the only saving grace has always been the option to treat a tool like he deserves - like a tool. take that away, and what do you have left? spitting in my coffee when i'm not looking, that's what. I don't know about you, but I don't think the best part of waking up is the Special Edition Starbux Fair Trade Ugly Barista Spit Guatamalan Antigua bland in my cup...
nuff said. now ima gonna drink my coffee.
ps - going to see the new Indy flick tonight. will attempt to record the movie in 17 second clips on my cell phone and post them on my blog. please stay tuned.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
camping camping camping camping camping camping camping camping camping camping camping camping camping camping camping camping camping camping yay!
so stoked - going camping this weekend, taking friday off to go up, set up camp, ride, hike, drink beer, hang with friends (moment of silence as no mr buddy...)
a little nervous as no reserved spot. going to pray to the camping g-ds that I get one of the first come first served spots. if anybody reads this damn blog other than the people who already know what's going on, please send me some good vibes...
a little nervous as no reserved spot. going to pray to the camping g-ds that I get one of the first come first served spots. if anybody reads this damn blog other than the people who already know what's going on, please send me some good vibes...
Monday, May 19, 2008
andom stuff and more coffee related rants...
funny how you're much less able to take morning mishaps in a philosophical stride on mondays than you are on fridays (or thursdays that are serving as your friday because your off on friday).
so, why the fuck don't european cars from the 80's have cup holders? is this the germans revenge at us for taking out hitler? c'mon, he deserved it - he was a motherfucker...
on an unrelated note, i was accused by an apparently lesser friend of plagiarizing the "lessons learned from a coffee cup" post, fuck you very much. needless to say, Mr. Buddy would never accuse me of such a thing...
twas an ok weekend - got to wrench on a car, do my monthly garage reclamation, did some yardwork, and replenished the kegerator with a fresh keg. as we're heading into summer, i thought stone pale ale was a good choice - IPA can be a bit much in the hear, especially in copious quantities as one is prone to do a kegerator...
on the down side, no ride was achieved. looking forward to athis weekend and getting in lots of ride time, in between beer time. hopefully, mr buddy will man up and come along.
so, why the fuck don't european cars from the 80's have cup holders? is this the germans revenge at us for taking out hitler? c'mon, he deserved it - he was a motherfucker...
on an unrelated note, i was accused by an apparently lesser friend of plagiarizing the "lessons learned from a coffee cup" post, fuck you very much. needless to say, Mr. Buddy would never accuse me of such a thing...
twas an ok weekend - got to wrench on a car, do my monthly garage reclamation, did some yardwork, and replenished the kegerator with a fresh keg. as we're heading into summer, i thought stone pale ale was a good choice - IPA can be a bit much in the hear, especially in copious quantities as one is prone to do a kegerator...
on the down side, no ride was achieved. looking forward to athis weekend and getting in lots of ride time, in between beer time. hopefully, mr buddy will man up and come along.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Life lessons taught to me by a coffee cup
So, this morning as I'm preparing to walk into the office with a bucket of bagels, a bag with cream cheese, an overflowing file folder, a big bottle of water and a cup of coffee, I think to myself, "wow, I'm pretty loaded down. Maybe I should make two trips." Of course, laziness gets the better of me, and I load up to make one trip. Everything goes fine until I get to the office front door, which of course requires me to swipe my badge, which gives me about 10 seconds to then more over and pull on the door to open it. All the while, a colleague is coming up behind me, and I can see that she too has a full load. Naturally, trying to be a nice guy, I hurry up so that I can hold the door open for her.
It's at this point that my full Venti cup of Starbucks' best tumbles out of my hands and explodes on the concrete directly in front of the door. With my colleague watching. At 8 AM, right as people are really starting to come in.
Not wanting to make a scene, I decide I will grab a bucket, fill it with water and just rinse away my coffee puddle of failure into the flower bed next to the door. An angel of salvation appears in the form of a friend/coworker, who helps me get a bucket (I think it was actually a container of éclairs from Costco in it's former life) and fill it with water. Feeling like I will soon put this incident behind me, I rush out the front door and proceed to dash away the coffee with clean, refreshing, wash away the shame water.
Well, the doors to our building are the glass kind that don't quite make full contact with the bottom of the ground. Apparently, what this means is that when you dump out a bucket of water on the ground right by the doors, apparently some of that water, and the coffee which it is now mixed with, runs into the office itself. Stupefied, I come to the realization that I've now brought my problem into the sanctuary of the office. No bed of petunias will now save my hide.
My angel of salvation again comes to the rescue, with a four inch thick stack of Papa John's napkins (thank G-d for pizza delivery) that we promptly use to sop up the mess and dispose of before more problems are created. Meanwhile, another angel (are there such things as Republican former Marine angels?) agrees to bring me a fresh cup back from his trip to get himself a refill.
Mind you, all this has occurred before I've even gotten to my desk, had any breakfast or even a sip of coffee (see paragraph two above). However, on reflection, I've decided to try to make something positive out of this incident. As such, I want to share with all of you the four life lessons I've learned this morning from a cup of coffee:
#1: when you feel you're juggling too many things, sometimes it's best to slow down and handle just a few things at a time
#2: before you try to "fix" something, stop and think it through, or else you may find yourself making more of a mess
#3: take a moment to laugh at your minor misfortunes, and enjoy the company of friends who are there to help
#4: don't sweat the small stuff, you can always get another cup of coffee
It's at this point that my full Venti cup of Starbucks' best tumbles out of my hands and explodes on the concrete directly in front of the door. With my colleague watching. At 8 AM, right as people are really starting to come in.
Not wanting to make a scene, I decide I will grab a bucket, fill it with water and just rinse away my coffee puddle of failure into the flower bed next to the door. An angel of salvation appears in the form of a friend/coworker, who helps me get a bucket (I think it was actually a container of éclairs from Costco in it's former life) and fill it with water. Feeling like I will soon put this incident behind me, I rush out the front door and proceed to dash away the coffee with clean, refreshing, wash away the shame water.
Well, the doors to our building are the glass kind that don't quite make full contact with the bottom of the ground. Apparently, what this means is that when you dump out a bucket of water on the ground right by the doors, apparently some of that water, and the coffee which it is now mixed with, runs into the office itself. Stupefied, I come to the realization that I've now brought my problem into the sanctuary of the office. No bed of petunias will now save my hide.
My angel of salvation again comes to the rescue, with a four inch thick stack of Papa John's napkins (thank G-d for pizza delivery) that we promptly use to sop up the mess and dispose of before more problems are created. Meanwhile, another angel (are there such things as Republican former Marine angels?) agrees to bring me a fresh cup back from his trip to get himself a refill.
Mind you, all this has occurred before I've even gotten to my desk, had any breakfast or even a sip of coffee (see paragraph two above). However, on reflection, I've decided to try to make something positive out of this incident. As such, I want to share with all of you the four life lessons I've learned this morning from a cup of coffee:
#1: when you feel you're juggling too many things, sometimes it's best to slow down and handle just a few things at a time
#2: before you try to "fix" something, stop and think it through, or else you may find yourself making more of a mess
#3: take a moment to laugh at your minor misfortunes, and enjoy the company of friends who are there to help
#4: don't sweat the small stuff, you can always get another cup of coffee
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
China calling
well, it appears that i am in a land of suppression and censorship. apparently my post on the hotness of mrs. incredible's butt has landed me in hot water. facing the prospect of getting shit for my posts or needing to filter my raw, unbridled passion for writing (hah!), this may be the last post on this blog.
Monday, May 12, 2008
the most bizarre trip to disneyland ever
so, took the wife to d.land for mothers day, along with one of my son's friends and his parents, who don't speak much english. as we're sitting there having our awkward half spanish half english (i gotta learn spanish!) breakfast "conversation", this apparently drunken filipino woman comes up and starts giving us a minute by minute agenda of what we should do with our day at disney. if ever there was a "had to be there" minute, this was it.
later, there was the extremely awkward situation when my wife caught me checking out mrs. incredible shaking her thing during the parade. man, was she pissed off.
luckily, there was beer to lubricate the day's tenseness. ahh, beer. the cause of, and solution to, all life's problems. (paraphrased from Homer Simpson)
later, there was the extremely awkward situation when my wife caught me checking out mrs. incredible shaking her thing during the parade. man, was she pissed off.
luckily, there was beer to lubricate the day's tenseness. ahh, beer. the cause of, and solution to, all life's problems. (paraphrased from Homer Simpson)
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
a rather downer post...
So, over the weekend, as I put 1200+ miles on my pt loser, I had a chance to wrestle with some deep thoughts about the fleeting nature of possessions, the impermanence of life, and the critical importance of simplifying one's life. As I witnessed my grandmother, stricken with alzheimers, being moved from one senior living environment to another, I pondered this womans life: Born in Kansas, she lived in various parts of the country before meeting my grandfather. Together, they moved from base to base as he served in the Army Air Corps (later the Air Force). During the war, she held a job supporting the war effort, quitting when he returned to help raise a family. In the late 50's, they were posted to spain and lived there for a few years. Upon returning to the US, they set up a farm outside tucson, farming cotton and soybeans in the desert while raising 6 kids. Through struggles with 6 hell raising, hippie kids (well, 5 and my mom - not much of a hellraiser there), who all turned out to be strong, intelligent, caring people; through my grandfathers battle with alcholism, and eventual early demise; through her own struggles with the tragic disease that is alzheimers, she has remained strong, independent and fiesty. This woman, who has hiked the grand canyon more times than I have hiked a mile; who tackled ayers rock in her 70's, who used to have the power the reduce all of us to meek peons with the power of her lecture, is now relagated to a locked down memory loss unit.
So, what does all this mean? It means that life is truly too short, even if it is 87 years and still going. Life should not be about possessions, as they only represent things that can be taken away from you. It should not be about petty arguments or perceived slights from others. Life is too short not to love everyone you can and let them love you back. Life is too short to have your energy and enthusiasm drained by unneccesary complexity.
How will I heed my own advice? I'd like to say that I'll eat better, exercise more, live simpler, laugh and love more. But even as I write those four "simple" things, I know that I'll likely fade back into old, destructive patterns. Do I have the strength to change myself for the better? Can one do so when their loved ones don't necessarily have the same goals and priorities? I guess what it really boils down to is that I'm afraid that I can’t change myself for the better. As long as you don't try, you can't fail, right?
Geez, I need a beer...
So, what does all this mean? It means that life is truly too short, even if it is 87 years and still going. Life should not be about possessions, as they only represent things that can be taken away from you. It should not be about petty arguments or perceived slights from others. Life is too short not to love everyone you can and let them love you back. Life is too short to have your energy and enthusiasm drained by unneccesary complexity.
How will I heed my own advice? I'd like to say that I'll eat better, exercise more, live simpler, laugh and love more. But even as I write those four "simple" things, I know that I'll likely fade back into old, destructive patterns. Do I have the strength to change myself for the better? Can one do so when their loved ones don't necessarily have the same goals and priorities? I guess what it really boils down to is that I'm afraid that I can’t change myself for the better. As long as you don't try, you can't fail, right?
Geez, I need a beer...
Friday, May 2, 2008
road tripping
as much fun as taking a road trip with a good friend is, there's just something about taking on the open road by yourself. the ability to truly lose yourself in thought, to talk to yourself, to not have to be aware of someone else in the car - especially when you fart - is kind of transcendental.
here's what i thought of as i drove today:
why is beer so good?
would a really hoppy hefeweizen be any good? call it hop-a-weizen maybe?
haha - i just owned that G35
deserts are cool
is the meaning of life for us just to work and hang out with people? is there even a meaning to life?
damn, that TT just owned me
OOH! cracker barrell. yummy sweet tea and strawberry shortcake.
have you ever noticed how mountains in arizona look like sleeping dragons? that's cool.
getting old kind of sucks, but it's kind of cool because it's just more experiences in life. life would be boring if you were forever 29. right, jeff?
wish i had a beer. oh yeah, that's illegal.
done driving. yay beer!
there was more, obviously, but i'm already boring myself. reflections on a roadtrip are like a good beer- you have to experience it yourself to really understand.
here's what i thought of as i drove today:
why is beer so good?
would a really hoppy hefeweizen be any good? call it hop-a-weizen maybe?
haha - i just owned that G35
deserts are cool
is the meaning of life for us just to work and hang out with people? is there even a meaning to life?
damn, that TT just owned me
OOH! cracker barrell. yummy sweet tea and strawberry shortcake.
have you ever noticed how mountains in arizona look like sleeping dragons? that's cool.
getting old kind of sucks, but it's kind of cool because it's just more experiences in life. life would be boring if you were forever 29. right, jeff?
wish i had a beer. oh yeah, that's illegal.
done driving. yay beer!
there was more, obviously, but i'm already boring myself. reflections on a roadtrip are like a good beer- you have to experience it yourself to really understand.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
unwashed philistines
what is an unwashed philistine? it's a guy who has a can of PBR in the morning before going to work at a middle school. it's a guy who will take gears off his bike to save weight, and then put empty PBR cans in his spokes. it's a guy who thinks beer is it's own food group, instead of just a wonderful representation of the other food groups.
what would the world be like without guys like this? i hope we never have to find out...
what would the world be like without guys like this? i hope we never have to find out...
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